Comparing Canadians and Americans

+70°F / 21°C:
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.

+60°F / 16°C:
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.

+50°F / +10°C:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Canada sunbathe.

+40°F / 4°C:
Italian and English cars won't start.
People in Canada drive with the windows down.

+32°F / 0°C:
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.

+20°F / -7°C:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.

+15°F / -9°C:
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0°F / -18°C:
People in Miami all give up and move to Mexico.
Canadians lick the flagpole.

20°F below / -29°C:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada get out their winter coats.

40°F below / -40°C:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Canada are selling cookies door to door.

60°F below / -51°C:
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

80°F below / -62°C:
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Canada rent some videos.

100°F below / -73°C:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

297°F below / -183°C:
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.

460°F below / -273°C:
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Canada start saying, "Eh, cold 'nuff for ya?"

... and colder:
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Stanley Cup.