Are You Confused?

Stating the Obvious

Teach Your Kids to Throw a Curve Ball

I see Barry Zito signed the largest contract by a pitcher in major league history. According to my calculations using Zito's 2006 stats, the 7-year, $126 million contract works out to:

• $18,000,000 per season
• $1,125,000 per win
• $529,412 per game started
• $119,205 per strike out
• $81,448 per inning pitched

But actually that's all guaranteed money thanks to his union and the collective agreement.

Breakfast with Scot

The appearance of the first gay Toronto Maple Leaf will be groundbreaking, even if it is only on film. Actor Tom Cavanaugh plays a gay ex-Leaf in a comedy film Breakfast With Scot currently being shot in the GTA and Hamilton. He’s one-half of a homosexual couple – his partner is the team lawyer – whose lives are turned upside down after becoming guardians of Scot, “a budding queen of an 11-year-old boy,” according to the storyline. Surprisingly the film has the full cooperation of the NHL and the Toronto Maple Leafs. The film is expected to be released in 2007.

Free Hugs Campaign

Congratulations Peter Bondra for Goal #500

Mats Sundin: The King of Consistency?

I found the following posting at another blog called Hockey Rants. The author is not a Leaf fan.

Consistent - (kən-sĭs'tənt) adjective:

• Reliable; steady: "demonstrated a consistent ability to impress the critics."
• One of the most overused words in sports

What does it mean to be consistent? If you listen to hockey people, it's a lack of effort or a bad game. ("We didn't put forth a consistent effort!")

However, if you can consistently awful, then you aren't 'inconsistent', are ya?

A great team can also be wildly inconsistent. Let's say the Vancouver Canucks win 5, lose 2, win 1, lose 2, win 7, lose 3, win 1, lose 1, win 5, lose 3, win 1, lose 4, win 10. Yes, they are quite inconsistent, but they are still doing great and would finish 30-15. Meanwhile, a team that loses every single game is totally consistent.

Anyway, I was perusing Mats Sundin's career stats (Why? I don't remember) and was just amazed at how consistent his production has been over almost his entire career.

After his initial 3-year introduction phase, Mats settled down and has put out pretty much a consistent point-a-game pace since 1993-94! He only deviates more than .10 points-per-game in two different seasons, even if his goals and assists totals fluctuate quite a bit. Even in his late 30's, he's still putting up the same pace.

It's also interesting that Mats has missed very little time due to injury. Apart from this season, Mats doesn't really miss any long periods of time due to injury (That 48 game season was the shortened season).

Mats gets a lot of flak from Leafs lemmings for not being able to lead the Leafs to the Stanley Cup, as if it is his responsbility to coach and manage the team as well.

Sundin may be the real live version of a Swedish troll, but let's give credit where it is due. Mats Sundin has to be one of the most bankable and consistent players in NHL history. A player who misses little time due to injury and puts up a point a game while playing good defensively? There's a lot of value in having that kind of certainty, and it would be nice if the media made more of a point about that.

Forget the 'promise' that so many other players offer (Alexei Kovalev, anyone?) and give me the player that keeps performing at a consistent level.

Here's to Mats Sundin, the true NHL's truly "Consistent" player.

And I Thought Composite Sticks Were Pricey

The world's oldest ice hockey stick, a hickory shaft carved in the 1850s, sold for $2.2 million Canadian in Montreal and will be displayed at the Hockey Hall of Fame. An anonymous Canadian man made the winning bid in an internet auction purchase, according to 45-year-old seller Gord Sharpe, an Ontario man who has owned the family heirloom since he was nine.

How to Have a White Christmas

Kimberly Shepard of Concord, New Hampshire, didn't let the weather reports get her down. She was hoping for a white Christmas and, thanks to some quick thinking by her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend, Shepard got just what she was asking for. Flakes never fell from the sky, but Shepard's Laurel Street home was covered with 2 to 3 inches of the white stuff Sunday night when she returned home from a Christmas party.

On Christmas Eve, Courtney Shepard and James Fontone shoveled two truckloads of flaky ice from behind Everett Arena - remnants of a Zamboni ice cleaning - into Richard's truck and over to the house while the couple was out. Her mother was floored when she pulled into the driveway. On Christmas day, Shepard said her phone was ringing off the hook with calls from neighbors complimenting the creative gift, and cars honked their horns as they passed.

The Latest Word Update at my Office

Hockey Legend Norm Ullman is 71 Today

Merry Christmas Storm Nation

Meet Vanessa the Forward

A great game to end the year! With less than 3 minutes left in the game, Vanessa fired a shot over the shoulder of the Vaughan goalie from 15 feet out to bring the Storm back from defeat and salvage a point. Several players found themselves playing unfamiliar positions with Heather and Madeleine out of the lineup. Now with 2 goals in the past 2 games, Vanessa may have found herself a new position at left wing, in particular since Heather will be out of the line up with a cracked rib for the next month. The other goal was scored by Rebecca R who had a strong game filling in at centre. Rebecca had at least 6 excellent scoring chances and had another goal which was disallowed. Happy Holidays Storm Nation!!

The Secret Life of Santa

I thought he used reindeer

Another Time Waster

The sound effects are fun but don't hit Santa! Click here to play.

Best Christmas Light Display

Display contains 20,000 lights and is found at 123 Rutledge Ave in Newmarket. Check out the video.

Online Etch A Sketch

Everyone had one as a child. You can relive your childhood online and waste a lot of time. Click here!

Starving Kids in China

And the dickey-do award goes to......

Jobs You May Not Want

Holiday Greetings

For My Politically Correct Friends:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Canada great. Not to imply that Canada is necessarily better than any other country and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual orientation of the wishes.By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For All My Other Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Like I was considering drinking it...

It's good to have a safe place to go to

Universal Symbol for 'No Eating Spaghetti O's'?

Sales must be pretty good this weather

Time Is On My Side

I am humbled and honoured to be named Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2006. However, I expect this recognition to come with some monetary award, lavish receptions and a world tour.

Obviously their choice was so lame. Given that their own online survey had Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez running away with the public voting at 35%, followed by Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at 21%, Nancy Pelosi at 12%, the YouTube guys at 11% and George W. Bush doing no better than being tied with Al Gore at 8%, Time takes a courageous stand and gives the award to ... you.

We Came, We Ate, We Exchanged Gifts

The annual Christmanukah breakfast and gift exchange went off brilliantly today. Players and parents brought out the food and their best appetites but left their hockey bags at the door. The Afro picks are very much appreciated as I've misplaced mine and my Afro hasn't been the same since. We also got to see some of Wayne's work who has been lurking around the team all fall with his camera. Wayne ran a clip of some of the footage and it looks great. He also set up his green screen to conduct interviews of the team. I feel like I'm part of a documentary. Can't wait to see the final product.

Storm Loses Game, Heather and Almost Coach Willie

Georgina scored 2 late goals to mount a comeback against the Storm yesterday. As well as losing the game, the Storm lost Heather who was run into a goal post in the 2nd period and left the game with sore ribs. The team was already missing Jackie who was away for the weekend. Her spot was filled by Vanessa who chipped in with her first goal of the season. Our converted defensemen Vanessa and Paige, centred by Madeleine played a strong game with some aggressive forechecking. Other scores were Rebecca T. (on the powerplay) and Jasmine. The Storm took the lead for the first time in the game with less than 7 minutes left in the third period but quickly lost the lead 36 seconds later as a result of a poor clearing pass in our own end. The winning goals was scored 3 minutes later.

Now several Storm players were obviously unhappy with the pre-game speech from the coaches as quite of number of pucks were launched at the poor coaches throughout the game. One particular shot grazed Coach Willie's head and only because he was able to duck in time to avoid one right between the eyes.

If you like the old classic computer games

Click to download PacMan

Happy Hanukkah!

Timing is Everything

Defense to the Rescue

Goaltending and defense bailed out an underachieving offense in tonight's 2-0 win over Scarborough. Although the Storm once again held a significant territorial advantage, the forwards failed to capitalize on numerous scoring opportunities. However, the defense took advantage of their opportunities too preserve the win. Mari had a particularly strong game at both ends of the rink and likely the lead the team in shots. She scored the first goal from the slot. Jasmine had the only other goal on a slapshot from outside the blue line that the Scarborough goalie was unable to handle. Alisha did not have a heavy workload but stopped everything that came her way to record a second consecutive shutout. It was good to see Ron and Leigh Durand at the game although we think they were cheering for the wrong team.

Streak Comes To an End

Just as the Leafs mercifully ended their losing streak, the Storm failed to maintain their winning streak. Durham maintained their dominance over the Storm with a 3-1 victory this evening. A number of factors contributed to the outcome of the game including several spectacular saves by the Durham goalie and some defensive errors by the Storm. Certainly it wasn't as strong of an effort as week ago in Georgina with a lot of pucks bouncing of sticks. The lone Storm goal was scored by Madeliene midway through the 3rd period.

Panasonic Introduces Portable 500-Disc Changer To Compete Against iPod

Call 911!

Comparing Canadians and Americans

+70°F / 21°C:
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Canada go swimming in the Lakes.

+60°F / 16°C:
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Canada plant gardens.

+50°F / +10°C:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Canada sunbathe.

+40°F / 4°C:
Italian and English cars won't start.
People in Canada drive with the windows down.

+32°F / 0°C:
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.

+20°F / -7°C:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Canada throw on a flannel shirt.

+15°F / -9°C:
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Canada have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0°F / -18°C:
People in Miami all give up and move to Mexico.
Canadians lick the flagpole.

20°F below / -29°C:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Canada get out their winter coats.

40°F below / -40°C:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Canada are selling cookies door to door.

60°F below / -51°C:
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Canadian Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

80°F below / -62°C:
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Canada rent some videos.

100°F below / -73°C:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Canadians get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

297°F below / -183°C:
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Canada complain about farmers with cold hands.

460°F below / -273°C:
All atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Canada start saying, "Eh, cold 'nuff for ya?"

... and colder:
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

Happy Birthday Alisha!

Why is it you go to school?

Top 10 Suggestions for Ending the Leafs' Losing Streak

10. Arrange to have Sundin 'hurt' in practice.
9. Move the Bruins to the West so the Leafs only play them once every 2 years.
8. Swap leagues with the Marlies.
7. Raise ticket prices...it's worked before.
6. Hire Pinball Clemons as coach.
5. Bring back Wendal Clark again.
4. Sign Mike Peca to improve their defensive game....ooops they did that already.
3. Go postal during the game not after.
2. Start the 3rd period by playing the national anthem.
1. Play only 40 minute games.

Amazing goal by Sidney Crosby

Already he's the best player in the NHL

Napoleon Dynamite

Tis the season

After last night's 6th stright loss by the Leafs

More proof that winter is here

Idiot Proof Website

Visit it here!

It's Nice at the Ice Palace

A snap shot by Jasmine over the Georgina goalie's trapper in the first period was all the Storm needed to extend their winning streak to 6 games. After that, ferocious checking kept the speedy Georgina team off balance for much of the game. The 1-0 score did not reflect the scoring chances as the Georgina Ice Palace was not a nice palace for the home team. Its always a nice drive down the 404 with a win under your belt. Alisha recorded the shutout and make some nice saves in the 3rd period to preserve the win.

Don't tell my Mom

Well it's finally here....

....Winter

Ummm, something's not right here

I guess the guy painting the lines on the road doesn't move roadkill either.

OK, now I definitely don't believe in Santa

Storm Invades Camp Borden

It was a nice day to drive up the 400 to CFB Borden yesterday with sunny skies taking over from the wind and snow that is more characteristic of the region. While driving through the base you would think you were in just any subdivision until you start spotting tanks and other military vehicles parked along the route to Andy Anderson Arena. For those who are wondering, Andy Anderson is a 36 year veteran of the Canadian Armed Forces. The last time we played Clearview, our opponents were seriously undermanned with only 9 skaters. Yesterday they had their full lineup and provided much more of a challenge although at the end we maintained a territorial advantage for much of the game. Although we didn't manage to go penalty free again, the trend to fewer penalties (only 3 yesterday) continued. Two power play goals and continuing strong goaltending from Nicki who registered a 4th straight shutout brought the Storm a 3-0 win over Clearview. Scorers were Heather, Sheri and Jackie. Play of the game was Mari who rushed through the entire Clearview team before being pulled down in front of their net to take away a great scoring chance.

Next game is against Georgina who will provide much more of a challenge. NOTE TO ALL PLAYERS. AS I PLACE MY SKATES INTO MY HOCKEY BAG, I WILL CHECK TO SEE THAT MY BLADES ARE SHARP SO I DO NOT FALL DOWN REPEATEDLY DURING GAME.

Women's hockey beginning to look too much like the men's game

What is believed to be the first case in Canada, a woman in London pleaded guilty to assault stemming from an attack on the ice in 2005 in which she kicked another player in the head while on the ice. You are accustomed to hear about incidents like this in men's hockey. But there are other incidents. An 18-year-old New Brunswick girl is facing an aggravated assault charge for a cross-check she allegedly delivered to a 15-year-old opponent during a high school game -- a hit that lacerated the victim's spleen and left her in hospital for several weeks. Truly frightening!

The thought disgusts me

Here it is Hardee's Chili Cheese Thickburger back by popular demand. Yes it seems Americans can't get enough of these suckers. A mere 960 calories, 60 grams of fat and 1570 milligrams of sodium. A heart attack in a bun.

We are entering the Penalty Free Sweepstakes

Well it finally happened. The laws of probability had to work in our favour eventually. The Storm went an entire game PENALTY FREE! So each player will receive a memento from Hockey Development Centre for Ontario and we are entering KEWL Penalty Free Sweepstake. Tie Domi eat your heart out.

Now about the game. Despite badly outshooting Vaughan, the Storm squeaked out a sloppy 2-1 win tonight. The win moves the Storm to within 3 points of Vaughan with 4 games in hand. Scoring tonight was Jasmine with a slapshot from the point that the goalie never saw. It was a rough night for Jasmine who spent most of the night on her rear end as a result of a faulty skate edge. Winning goal was scored by Heather. Sheri chipped in with two assists.

Tucker hit on Chara last night

Pound for pound one of the toughest guys in hockey.

Not entering a spelling bee real soon

Famous quotes from Coach Bruce - UPDATED

1. Always carry two hankies, one for show and one to blow.
2. Hey Alice, don't have a brain fart out there!
3. Even a blind squirrel sometimes finds a nut.
4. Were you having a blonde moment out there?
5. Have you met my cleaning lady Dorothea?
6. That's a hockey puck on your stick not a hand grenade.
7. That shot wouldn't have broken glass.
8. Do that again and I will shove my stick where the sunn don't shine.
9. This team couldn't pass wind.
10. There were so many of you in front of our net that we could have taken a team picture.
11. Holy sh*t house mouse.
12. Safe under the tag!
13. When you coughed up that puck I almost needed a change of underwear.
14. I know its almost Christmas but do you have to be giving away the puck?
15. Hey Buffy, stay awake out there!
16. They do that in Leaside not here.
17. Was that your imitation of a Zamboni out there?
18. That puck hit her in a bad spot...right on the stick.
19. Your turns are so large you have to skate through Hamilton to get back to your end of the ice.
20. That a boy, girl!
21. If you moved any slower we might paint you orange and throw you out on the highway.
22. I bet you could hit a one-legged pirate in the leg.
23. You dance with who ya brung.
24. None of the dickey doo stuff.
25. Remember we're wearing white today.

Storm goes deep with short bench

A short bench did not stop the Storm from running up the score on Leaside today. Rebecca B. lead the Storm with 2 goals in the 6-0 victory. Single goals went to Sheri (with 2 assists). Lesley (also with 2 assists), Jasmine, and Jackie. Very encouraging was the fact that the Storm took only 1 penalty to 6 for the Wildcats. On the powerplay the Storm worked the puck well and produced 2 goals with a man advantage. Shutout went to Nicki who now has a 3 game shutout steak going. The strong team game exhibited in last week's tournament has carried over to league play. With 6 games over a two and a half week span, lets hope that the momentum continues.

Zamboni drivers iced after food run

The good news is, they are most unlikely to be prosecuted for speeding. Two employees of the Boise, Idaho city ice skating rink have been fired for making a midnight fast-food run in a pair of Zambonis.

An anonymous tipster reported seeing the two big ice-resurfacing machines chug through a Burger King drive-through and return to the rink about 12:30 a.m. on Nov. 10. The squat, rubber-tired vehicles, which have a top speed of about 5 mph, drove 1½ miles in all.

The Zamboni operators, both temporary city employees, had to negotiate at least one intersection with a traffic light on their late-night creep from Idaho Ice World. The bad news is that the employees could still face charges for driving an unlicensed vehicle in a public street.

Canada's MVPs

Justin Morneau joins Joe Thornton and Steve Nash as Canadian born MVPs in the same year. We don't just produce good hockey players anymore. However my vote for Canadian athlete of the year is none of the above. How about Cindy Klassen.